Den, ai hod yu in
by uhohmaeday
Summary: The battle at Mount Weather is over. Lives were lost; trust was broken. Is the alliance still intact after Lexa's decision? And will Clarke ever be able to trust Lexa again? A Clexa fic. Takes place after 2.15 and diverges from the season 2 finale. Major character dead. Lexa lives. Hopefully a happy ending. No Alie. Previously abandoned fic and brought back to life.
1. Gonplei (Fight)

**Gonplei (Fight)**

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_a/n: I am very anxious for what is going to happen on Wednesday, so I am writing my anxieties away. This may end up being a long fic, but I have a tendency to get distracted and not continue…. Just hit me upside the head at theliesloverhear on tumblr, and I will continue writing. This takes place after ep 2.15 Update heavy in the next couple days._

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Maybe she had too much faith or maybe she was too full of trust, but unlike with Bellamy Clarke's faith in Lexa to aid her people in the rescue and subsequent war was not rightfully placed. She was wrong to put so much trust in someone who displayed a heart so cold, but the truth was Lexa's heart wasn't cold. She just placed that mask on. It was a false bravado, and like Lexa said she made her choice with her head not her heart. Because if she made the choice with her head, not her heart, she would have known I would have never betrayed her like she betrayed me. But that was all over now. Mount Weather had been taken. It went almost exactly as planned. Almost.

Clarke knew that plunging a knife into Finn wouldn't make anyone happy. It wasn't to make her own self happy, and it certainly wasn't to bring Raven any peace. But the thought of Finn having to undergo the pain of eighteen deaths, outweighed the pain of her killing him herself. She had control of that. She could control his pain and suffering. Still, his eyes haunted her. And now, Raven's death would haunt her. If she had only gotten there moments sooner, that bullet wouldn't have gone right through her skull. They could have shot her through the side, but no. They shot her face to permanently disfigure her body, and somehow Clarke's people were still the monsters. But at the time, she didn't have any room to weep. Instead, it was a rain of bullets through their chests and knives slashed through their throats. Wick ended up surviving although, she was sure a part of him wished he had died and not Raven.

After they did a final sweep of Mount Weather, they collected the bodies of their fallen. And Clarke collected Raven. In the Mount Weather attack, her soldiers were told only to attack those who had weapons and attacked them. Anyone who survived the radiation due to treatments were allowed to stay at Mount Weather or come with them should they wish. Some chose to stay, many chose to come. It wasn't their idea. Clarke was understanding; she spoke to them in a way that made them understand why this happened. But some of these people resented the sky people for their lover's deaths. So they stayed. Gathering up the people who wished to return to Camp Jaha, they began their voyage back. The children were carried for the most part. Their eyes were wide and scared, but they were comforted by their own people.

All Clarke remembers from the trip back is that while Bellamy carried a young orphaned boy whose father he killed. She pulled the body of her former friend.


	2. Kwelnes (Weakness)

**Kwelness (Weakness)**

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_a/n: I actually wrote this chapter out one way then I didn't like it, so I rewrote the whole thing. I hope you enjoy it! Also, I have no beta. All typos are mine. And I don't own any of the characters. So sad. :c_

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It felt like tears of blood were streaming down her face as they placed Raven's stiff body into the cold, imperfectly dug hole in the ground. The hot tears reminded her of the biological warfare used against her people by Lexa, and her blood boils just as hot as her face from the anger of Raven's death. Words are spoken, but they hold little meaning as Raven is already dead and they have lost. She takes a hand full of dirt and tosses it lightly over the stiff body. She wants to say Raven's fight is over, but the words won't slip past her mouth. She curses herself for thinking in grounder terms and turns away before the funeral is over and leaves. No one dares to follow her.

Even after they've been back at camp for a week, the exhaustion of the funeral hasn't left anyone's body or mind. No one has mentioned her name to Clarke. No one wants to bring that pain to her. Because when the pain of _her_ death is brought up the pain of _his_ death is brought up and the pain of _her_ betrayal becomes all too real. It's like her mind is all consumed by Raven, Finn, Raven, Finn, Raven, Finn… Lexa. And she hates that. Because she has bigger matters that should be distracting her mind, but yet she is caught up on someone who supposedly _cares_ yet shows it through deceit.

No, she should be concentrating on the hundred plus new citizens. Forty-two of her own, and sixty-seven Mount Weather citizens had returned to Camp Jaha to make it their new home. Though Abby says they are adjusting fairly well. Although there is to be traumatization to various extents, everyone made their decision. The former Mount Weather citizens decided to leave for various reasons. Whether it be that they had no home anymore or they felt betrayed by their own people or something else entirely, they made their choice. They were always free to leave if they wanted. They were not prisoners, so it made the peace a lot simpler. Each was sure to carry baggage though. Including possible anger toward the Sky people or even fear, hopefully the children would adjust easier.

Bellamy had already taken a young boy named Sam under his wing. The young boy wasn't aware, but Bellamy had informed Clarke that he had killed the boy's father. His mother had not received treatment. It was unclear if she refused it or just hadn't received it yet, but it left the 6 year old an orphan. Sam quietly took to Bellamy. His eyes were constantly wide and full of distrust for everyone, but his little hands clung to Bellamy's clothing and eventually the older man's fingers. They were stuck together like glue.

Taking a deep breathe, Clarke stood silently at Raven's grave with lowered eyes. No one tried to bother her when she was here, and no one else would approach. Kneeling down she pushed a little more dirt onto the grave. _May we meet again_. She stood up and brushed her hands off then made her way through the camp. She spotted Sam with Bellamy. The little boy's eyes spoke fear that no one should go through at such a young age. _Especially not a 6 year old boy… not even a teenage girl, _she concedes. She shakes off the thought and her stoic mask returns as she makes her way to see her mother.

The Mountain Tent, they call it, it's where the new citizens have been staying. It's their makeshift accommodations until better ones can be made. Opening the flap, she stepped inside and found her mother who was speaking with an older gentleman. He was asking about the Ark and Abby was smiling. She was telling about what the Earth looked like from space. The gentleman nodded and placed his hand gently on Abby's arm. He was completely enthralled as though last week hadn't even happened. Clarke's lips quirked up for a second until she heard her mother say her name then she snapped back.

"Excuse me for a moment," Abby said to the man with a caring hand placed on top of his. She turned away and moved toward Clarke then they left the tent to find a more private area to talk.

"How are they doing?" Clarke asked once they reached the outskirts of camp.

"Surprisingly," she said, "Very well. They relate to us. I don't see much trouble coming out of their adjustment. They want to be here. They have their own burdens, but they want this to work. And those that don't. We'll just allow them to leave."

Clarke nodded and said, "Very well, keep me updated"

She turned to leave when Abby grasped her arm. "Clarke, she said, what about you? How are you doing?"

She pulled her arm away from her mother's grasp. Her jaw tightened slightly, and she kept her body turned away slightly.

"I'm fine," she said with a intentionally softened tone. "I'm glad they're doing well. Like I said, keep me updated."

With that, she continued on her way. Abby watched the back off her daughter as she left then sighed softly and walked back to the Mountain tent.

Clarke stood behind a building. Her heart was beating so fast. Her mind was completely fuzzy. All she saw was flashes of blood and flashes of Lexa's face as she stood cold-hearted and blank-faced. Lexa's words kept ringing in her ears. _What you would have done. I'm sorry. Save my people. The deal. My head, not my heart. May we meet again. I do care. The deal is done. _Then the bloody gaping hole left in Raven's face was all Clarke could see. She slowly slid down the wall of the building. This was too much. This had to end. She glanced around the camp. No one was watching. They were all doing their duties, so no one would notice if she slipped out. And so she did. In that moment she took to the woods. She needed to do something. And she needed to do it now. She needed to speak to Lexa.


	3. Jus (Blood)

**Jus (Blood)**

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_a/n: Here is a short one, but I didn't feel right making it any longer just for the sake of making it longer._

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Standing in front of the two war-painted grounders should have made Clarke feel something. The way they stood over her threateningly asking her intentions should have made her blood run cold. The gnashing of their teeth when they talked should have her hair standing on edge and her muscles tense, but instead she stood tall. Her muscles were relaxed, and her blood felt as though it were at a standstill. That was, until _her_ words rang out.

"Gonakru, daun ste pleni!" she called out. [_Warriors, that is enough!_]

In that moment, Clarke felt her blood chill and drain from her face. There wasn't enough time to her to grasp the meaning of this sudden change. The grounders stepped back, and Lexa made her appearance. She, too, was in her war-paint. Fully-armored, hair braided, as to be expected, the sight of her made Clarke's blood freeze. She wasn't going to let her emotions get the best of her. Not now. Not when she had come so far. Straightening up, she spoke.

"I wish to have an audience with you, Commander."

Lexa spoke no words and studied Clarke's face for the briefest second. She gave Indra a slight nod then made her way toward her tent. Clarke glanced at the Commander's guard then followed Lexa. The guard kept close to Clarke. When Lexa stopped at the entrance to the tent, she told the guard to stand watch.

"Clarke," she said as she entered the tent. The Sky clan girl followed her inside and waited until Lexa turned around. Then it all hit her. She had no clue what to say. Everything she wanted to say just overwhelmed her mind. All she could she was the hurt and betrayal and anger. So her jaw clenched and she closed her eyes for the briefest moment.

"I want to know if our alliance is still intact," she said bluntly.

"I see no reason it would not be," Lexa stated.

"We have many citizens from Mount Weather. I want to be assured they will be included."

"Are they part of the Sky people now?"

"Yes. They are."

"Then yes," Lexa said. She took a slight step toward Clarke who then moved away.

"That's all, Commander. Thank you for your audience."

Clarke turned away from Lexa quickly and made her way as casually as possible out of tent. She didn't glance at the guard and made her way out of Ton DC. Her feet crunched harshly through the soil and twigs. She wasn't trying to be stealthy. She was just trying to be quick. And she was. She made it out of there fast. Fast enough that she didn't see the way Lexa's eyes glanced at her then glanced at the ground when Clarke turned away. Just as Lexa wouldn't see Clarke's back pressed up against a tree as she slowly slid down it and pressed her face into her palms to sob all the feelings of the past week into her fingerprints.


	4. Keyron (Soul)

**Keyron (Soul)**

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_a/n: Here is chapter four. I read over all my chapters, but I can't promise you anything. This is kind of a "filler" chapter with more character development than anything. But if you're into that, hopefully you will love this chapter. This chapter was necessary to get us to the more action-packed (hopefully) fifth chapter! Also, I love reviews! I just like talking to people who read my fic. I mean, I love other 100 fans. So share the love. -E_

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Returning to Camp Jaha was less eventful than expected. No one seemed to notice her absence because they were too busy dealing with their own business. The peaceful time had allowed everyone in camp to relax and go about their business without fear. This was a blessing for Clarke. Along with the fact the walk had allowed her red rimmed eyes to return back to normal. She didn't want anyone to know she was crying. That way no one would question the show of emotion, and no one would ask where she was. Perfect.

Making her way across camp back to her bunk, she ran across Monty. His hair was messy. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and his eyes were missing the spark they normally contained.

"Clarke," he said softly. He was quick to avert eye contact and shift away from her. Despite her recent shying away from others, she put her hand on his arm softly.

"Hey. Are you going out with the food gathering party later?" she asked, but he shook his head and glanced down.

"No. I think Jasper is going though," he said.

Clarke nodded understandingly. She let her hand drop and watched as Monty made his quick exit. She watched as he left. Then she continued toward her bunk. She felt for him. He had a gentle heart, and he saw things, did things at Mount Weather he never should have. He wasn't one of the lucky ones. He came out unscathed physically, but not unscathed emotionally. His heart was no longer soft; it was pulverized. There was a fear ground in so deep and a pain burned into every artery that there was no way it could return to normal, so she let him have his space. She let him have his time. It had only been a week. It was mere days in the scheme of things, and the world was at peace. They had their peace, so they could have their time. Maybe even Clarke could use the time to find her peace. But was there even peace to find? She had been betrayed. And while Lexa claimed Clarke would have done the same thing, would she have? Clarke couldn't answer that because she wasn't in that position. And it pained her to know, she would never have an answer to that question. She could never tell Lexa that she wouldn't have made the deal. There were too many unknowns.

With a heavy sigh, she sat on the edge of her cot then laid down and stared up at the ceiling. She took a deep breath and tried to convince herself everything would be alright. The betrayal was alright. Nothing that bad had happened because of it. The alliance is alright. Despite the betrayal. Everything is alright. The world was at peace. Everything will continue to be alright. There were no foreseeable disasters in the future. But the hollow point between her ribs continued to sink as she closed her eyes.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Clarke, Clarke, Clarke, the deal is done, the deal is done, the deal is done, I do care, I do care, may we meet again, again, again-_

Clarke's knees jerked up, and her hands went to cover her ears while she rolled onto her side. It was all she could do to not let out a scream. Those words. Lexa's words. Why? Tears started to pool, but she was quick to take a deep breath and wipe them away. No. This wasn't going to happen here. This had to end. And that end started with her rebuilding her life. She had been pushing the feelings into her darkest corners for a week, and now she had finally conquered her fear of talking to Lexa. She had succeeded. The conversation had gone well. She had not crumbled, and the alliance was intact. She had been strong. And now she was going to be strong again, she was going to join the food gathering party.

_One step at a time._

With that, she unfurled, sat up, and made her way out of the bunk house.


	5. Odon (Over)

**Odon (Over)**

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_a/n: There is less action here than I was hoping apparently that will be in chapter six, I think. I didn't want to rush things. I apologize if this doesn't live up to expectations, but… Lexa appears!_

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The food gathering party went as expecting. Jasper was in his usual spirits that day, but like the others there would be the occasional glint in his eyes showing the pain he went through. He wasn't the same, but he was able to overcome it like some of the others weren't quite able to yet. He was a little bit stronger after everything that had happened. His weaknesses were turned into strength that could potentially help others. To show the others that the Mountain Men didn't take everything. To Clarke, that was an invaluable skill. She pulled Jasper aside and asked him if he would be able to talk to Monty, but the other boy wasn't letting him close. Either way, she asked Jasper to try again and keep trying in any way he could to help his friend out.

After the next couple of days, Clarke was informed that the Commander wished to have an audience with her. Initially she wanted to try and discourage the meeting, but she knew that was not best for her people. Since she didn't know what the meeting was about, it could put the alliance at risk. And that was not something Clarke was willing to do. When she informed Kane and Abby of her plans to meet up with the Commander, her mother was not fond of the idea. Clarke couldn't say she was surprised as Abby never was fond of the grounder leader.

"Clarke," she said, "I don't like this. She betrayed our alliance. Our-"

"The alliance is intact," Clarke simply stated, cutting her mother off.

"How do you know?" Kane asked abruptly.

"I met with the Commander a few days ago," she said with no wavering in her voice.

"Clarke!" Abby said, "Who knows what could have happened? You went without guards. Without back up."

"The alliance is intact," she reiterated.

"Then I see no reason Clarke cannot travel alone if she wishes," Kane stated looking at Abby.

"I don't like it," she said.

"You don't have to," Clarke responded.

The travel to Ton DC was far from what Clarke wanted. The peace of the woods did not bring peace to her mind. The last couple of days had also lacked the peace Clarke desired. Her mind was brought back constantly to what could only be described as flashbacks. They had started to go away, but then Lexa had requested her audience. So the walk brought everything back. She had no idea what this meeting could be about, but she knew something was on Lexa's mind. She just hoped it wasn't an apology. No apology could bring back the people lost or take back the betrayal. As far as Clarke was concerned, no apology could fix this.

Indra met her at Ton DC and led her to the guarded tent then told her the Commander was inside. Clarke entered the tent to see Lexa standing with her back toward her. She approached the other girl slowly then stopped a few feet away.

"You requested my presence," Clarke stated.

Lexa turned around. Her war-paint was removed as well as her armor. She looked much more like a girl than the strong Commander she was. This almost gave her a look of innocence, almost. She glanced down at the table laid out next to them. Her armor was placed on it as well as her weaponry.

"I wish to make peace with you," Lexa stated.

"I was under the impression our people were already at peace. We have an alliance."

"Not with your people, Clarke. With _you_," she clarified.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Then let me speak to you," Lexa offered. "I know what I did may have not been to your liking, but it was to the benefit of my people. Had they offered you the same thing, you would have surely taken it. We are one and the same, Clarke. You would have taken the deal. Just as I did."

"You can't say that," she said. Her voice was heavy with emotion as though it were flowing out all at once. "You have no idea what my choice would have been because I didn't have to make that choice, but you did. And you made the choice to hurt my people when we could have helped both of ours. We are not one and the same, Lexa. I trust."

The Commander visibly swallowed and took a step toward Clarke. There were no words out of her mouth, but a hand was raised toward the other girl. The Sky Princess withdrew back a step, and Lexa halted.

"Clarke, I did what I had to," she said.

"You did what you _wanted_ to," Clarke snapped. That's when she noticed the way that Lexa's shoulders had started to curl inward just a little bit when her hand fell by her side. The Commander did not look like the Commander Clarke was used to seeing. She looked almost vulnerable, and just as Clarke was about to soften up her own stance the Commander straightened up her back and tilted her head down slightly to look at Clarke with the same cold expression she was used to.

"I did what I _had_ to. I am sorry, Clarke. I went with my head. Not my heart. My people come first. One person does not outweigh the many," she said.

It was her way of saying that she cared about Clarke. That she cared about Clarke a lot. To an extent she would hardly admit to herself, but here she was admitting it using a riddle of words. Ant it was over Clarke's head. The Sky girl was too consumed by her anger to decode any wording and make sense of it. So Lexa's words would go unnoticed, and her secret would survive another day. When Lexa hardened up, so did Clarke. They mirrored each other, and so the blonde stood taller and her lips straightened out.

"I'm starting to think you don't have a heart," Clarke concluded coldly.

Lexa's jaw tightened at the words, but the made no sound or movement. With Clarke taking this as a victory on her part she gritted her teeth together and asked if she may leave now. The Commander simply nodded and motioned with her eyes for her to go. There was no hesitation in Clarke's movements this time as she made her way out of Ton DC and through the woods back to Camp Jaha.


	6. Goufa (Child)

**Goufa (Child)**

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_a/n: The note will be at the bottom for this one. - E_

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While the conversation with Lexa did not go as Clarke had hoped (how had she even hoped for the conversation to go in the first place?), the Commander's firm stance on her choice gave Clarke's own heart a much rest. She was certain neither leader would be able to change the other's mind, so they would have to form contentment with the other's decision (or lack thereof). For Clarke, that meant leading her people without the burden of Lexa's decision weighing on her back and on her heart every turn of the way. Maybe this was easier said than done, but Clarke was not weak and feeling with the heart is not weakness as Lexa would like her to believe. The heart is powerful. Her heart is not only what guides her love for one, but her love for her entire people. In this case, her love for them would be her strength. Her love would guide her.

That night she spoke to her to her people. She spoke to lift them up, and she spoke to bring the group together. New citizens and old. Her voice did not falter, and her hands did not shake. She spoke to tell them they would rebuild and grow together as one. For now they were one and the same. There was no separation between any of them. She spoke to inform them the alliance was intact. There was nothing to fear from the grounders. She informed that, while the alliance bond had nearly been broken, it too would be mended along with her people. Her words were well received. For her people would be protected. Her people were safe.

After her speech, Bellamy approached her. Sam had long since been put to bed. The dark haired man had a slight smile on his face. His wounds from the battle had mostly healed and now only minor marks remained.

"Glad you're back, Princess," he said with an even wider smile spreading across his face. Clarke resisted a roll of her eyes. She had to admit that it felt good to have some normalcy from her friend.

"Glad to be back," she finally said with a slight crack in her voice. They exchanged smiles, and he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before saying he must return to check on Sam. Clarke simply nodded then made her way back to her own bunk. Things were returning to normal, and it felt good. That much she could admit.

The next day after breakfast, Clarke walked out of the mess hall to find Bellamy running around with Sam on his shoulders. The little boy screamed in joy and clung to Bellamy's head as he took a sharp turn while making figure eights. Octavia was watching from the sidelines. Clarke hadn't seen much of her since they returned, but she had seen enough to know that going in to save her brother was a decision she would never regret. The tension between Clarke and Octavia was still there, but no words were spoken about it.

While Clarke meeting with Lexa was the first official meeting between the Grounders and Sky People, it had gone unspoken that Octavia and Lincoln were meeting in secret. Neither were sure if the alliance was intact, and neither wanted to risk it. So their meetings were a secret, but it was known. At least by Clarke, it was known. She didn't see Octavia's eyes dull at being told to stay away from the Grounders when they returned to camp directly after the battle at Mount Weather. She didn't hear choked sobs resonate from her chest knowing she may never see Lincoln again because there was never an end to them. There was just a pause in the acknowledgment of their relationship. Words from the caretaker of the Mountain boy brought Clarke back to the present.

"Want to play a game of catch, little man?" Bellamy asked Sam as he pulled the boy off his shoulders. The little boy nodded his head as fast as he could manage, and Bellamy pulled a ball out of his pocket. Octavia pushed off of the crate she was leaning against and walked toward the pair.

"Aun'tavia!" Sam said as he ran up to her and jumped in her arms. "Play with us."

"Of course," she said with a smile as she placed the little boy back on the ground. Clarke smiled as well while she watched them. Then Bellamy caught sight of her.

"Clarke, want to join us?" he asked as he threw the ball in the air and caught it over and over.

"Oh, I don't-" she started.

"It'll be fun," Octavia said. Clarke glanced over at the other girl then at Sam and Bellamy and nodded slightly.

"Good," Bellamy said. "Sam, you go over there. We have to spread out."

The little boy rushed away then turned back and faced his caretaker. Bellamy smile then bent his knees to lower his body. He gently tossed the ball in an arc toward the boy who missed the ball by just a little bit and had to rush after it and pick it up off the ground about a foot away. Either way, he was giggling fiercely as he tossed it with reckless abandon toward Clarke. The blonde was taken by surprise as she leapt to the side to grab ahold of the ball that was nearing the ground.

"Quite an arm you have on you there, Sam," she said with a smile and kindness in her eyes.

The boy shied away when spoken to, but his smile never faded. The group continued to toss around the ball until Sam started to yawn and miss the ball more frequently. With that, the game was ended, and Bellamy put the ball away in order to give Sam a rest.

"I'll have to excuse myself," Octavia said. She glanced at Clarke. "It was fun."

"It was," the blonde concurred.

Octavia made her exit, and Bellamy picked up a sleepy-eyed Sam. He had all but worn himself out with all the giggling and running. Clarke couldn't help but smile at the pair and thought she should make her leave as well.

"I've had a good time," Clarke said softly.

"We should do it more often. I'm sure Sam would enjoy it," Bellamy said quietly. Sam yawned and snuggled into Bellamy's neck. Clarke thought silently for a moment and just watched the pair.

"I would like that," she said.

Each day after that day playing catch, it seemed that Clarke and Bellamy spent more time together. It was healing the way he looked at her and the way Sam started to wrap his hands around both their fingers. Their time together didn't go unnoticed. She could hear people whispering, but it was a pleasant whispering. People seemed happy; particularly those from the original 100. The King and the Princess were spending more time together. To them it meant only one thing, to Bellamy and Clarke it meant their friendship was deepening. How far it would go, neither of them could predict, but she was fond of the way he cared for Sam. And Sam seemed fond of Clarke.

Today, Bellamy had asked Clarke to watch over Sam on her own. It was the first time she was watching over him while he was still fully awake. To be quite honest, she had no idea what to do with the child. So she brought him around the camp to wear off some energy then back to her bunk. He spotted her notebook with her drawings hidden within. She took it and sat beside him on her cot.

"This has my drawings in it. Would you like to see them?" she asked the boy softly. He nodded his head quickly and leaned against her shoulder while she showed him drawings of two headed deers, mountains, and rivers. Before she got any farther, she noticed the way the boy looked up at Clarke with wide eyes.

"Do you like to draw, Sam?" His response was rubbing his head against her arm and gazing back up at Clarke.

"Let me get you a pencil and paper, so you can draw," she said with a smile. "Would you like that?"

He nodded with the same exuberance she was used to by now, so she got up and pulled out a pencil then ripped out a piece of paper for the boy. She handed him the paper and pencil, and he started to draw right away. She smiled and watched him. His resilience was beautiful. The way his green eyes could still sparkle despite losing both parents did not go unbeknownst to Clarke. And not once did those green eyes look up from the paper to glance at Clarke. Instead, he completed his drawing with the concentration and commitment that only children seemed to have. He was lost in his own little world. Once his drawing was complete, he held it up to show it to Clarke. It was of four people standing in a line with trees around them. On the left was a woman with long hair, then a man, a little boy, and finally another woman with long hair.

"Who is that?" she asked, pointing to the first woman on the left.

"Aun'tavia," he said with a big smile then pointed to the person next to her. "Unca Bell." He pointed to the little boy holding Bellamy's hand. "Me." On the other side was another woman holding Sam's hand. "You." He pointed then looked up at Clarke and took her arm in his grasp. "My family." Clarke smiled and held the little boy close to her. _Family._

Bellamy picked up Sam later that night. Just as they were about to leave, Clarke spotted the boy's drawing on her table. She quickly picked it up and held it out toward the boy. She didn't want him to leave it behind.

"Don't forget your drawing, bud," she said. "Don't you want to show Unca Bell?"

Sam took the drawing and held it against his chest. He nodded while looking up at Bellamy expectantly. The man had his hand on the younger boy's head. He mussed up his sandy brown hair then knelt down beside him.

"What did you draw, Sam?" he asked curiously at the boy's level.

"Our family," Sam explained as he showed Bellamy the drawing. He started to point at each of the people in his drawing. "Aun'tavia, you, me, and," the young boy hesitated. He wasn't sure how to address the fourth person. "Clarke," he finally said although the words sounded off on his tongue. Bellamy smiled and stood up then said, "I see you and Clarke had some fun then?"

Sam was quick to nod his head and ask if he could spend more time with Clarke. Bellamy had no objections, but he explained that for the night they had to go to bed. Their own bed. Sam obliged his caretaker, but before they went he ran up to Clarke and wrapped his arms around her legs.

"Thank you! Bye!" he said before running back to Bellamy.

"Have a good night, Clarke," the older man said before making his leave holding the boy's hand while the boy grasped onto his picture.

"Goodnight, Bell, Sam" she said as they left. Once they were gone she placed her notebook and pencils back where they belonged and settled into her bed. A small smile pulled at the corners of her lips while she curled in the blankets.

"Family," Clarke whispered once she was sure no one would hear.

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_a/n: Well as you can see, this one ended up being much longer than even I intended, and there was… well… no action. Unless you include a game of catch. I was in the ER for a large portion of today, so I planned out a lot of the fic. It could end up being a nice and long one. Oops… This is not a Belarke fanfic, so don't worry. I may change my plans, but right now we have a lot of development that is important for the future plot which will take off after a few chapters, hopefully. Lexa should show up in the next chapter as we see their tentative friendship possibly blossom? Maybe? Maybe not? Who knows? I know. Haha. There will be action in this fic, and in case anyone is wondering, the M rating will come into play at some point. I'm considering lowering it until it does though. I'm not sure. Maybe T for now. As for the reviews, follows, and favorites, thank you so, so much I am beyond grateful!_

_A quick response to some reviews on Ch. 5: I'm glad Lexa frustrates you! She frustrates me too! I want Clarke and Lexa to just kiss and make up! But alas that cannot happen. I'm glad you are enjoying the story. Clarke is very hurt, and I do not believe she would have made the decision Lexa did, but Clarke is strong and will prevail as you saw in this chapter._

_Much love. - E_


	7. Pis (Angry)

**Pis (Angry)**

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_a/n: I seriously have been writing almost non-stop. I have an addiction. Something is wrong with me. Send help. - E_

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Weeks had passed with little interaction from both the grounders and the sky people's side. When there was a necessity it seemed to be Indra who came to do Lexa's bidding. Clarke herself was pleased that the Commander was staying away. She had no words to speak with the Commander. Their diplomatic conversations always had a tendency lead to more personal conversations and that Clarke wished to not avoid all together. It was not that she had been intentionally avoiding the Commander. Actually, when Clarke thought about it, the opposite seemed true. There were brief moments where she worried that maybe her words had somehow stained Lexa's shielded heart, but they were mere flashes.

Today Indra arrived at the gate, but she came not alone. By her side was the Commander atop a horse. Her face was stripped of all its paint, and her braided hair fell across her back. She was still armored as the woods were not considered safe due to the pauna and other creatures, and her guards never seemed to leave her side despite the peace. Clarke's own guards at the gate hesitated entry until she stepped forward.

"Open the gate," the blonde ordered.

Lexa rode in proudly then dismounted in front of Clarke. If the Sky girl wasn't mistaken it almost looked like the Commander was showing off. In the way she landed next to her horse and then handed off the reins to Indra, there was a control to it. She knew what she was doing, and she was holding herself tall in all her armor. Indra moved away with the Commanders horse to allow the guards to take her place.

"I request an audience with you, Clarke of the Sky Clan," she said to the Sky Princess.

Her eyes had no softness in them, and so Clarke simply nodded. She turned and made her way toward the privacy of her quarters. No small talk was made as they walked. There was no room for that between them despite the hope Clarke held out when she saw Lexa dismounting her horse.

Upon reaching her quarters, she turned to Lexa who had ordered her guards to keep watch outside. Clarke kept silent and waited for Lexa to speak before she said anything. She had no reason to make the first move. The ball was in her court. And by the looks of things, she wasn't fairing well off the bat. There was a visible hesitancy and a barely perceptible inhale before any words were spoken.

"I have come to discuss with you future plans at Ton DC," she said. Her mask coming back up. "I will be traveling to Polis while Ton DC is rebuilt. I am meeting with several other clan leaders. They wish for your presence."

"Why would they want me there?" Clarke said. Her brow furrowed slightly as her lips parted. Lexa took a slight step toward her.

"They do not trust you, Clarke. Your presence could put their distrust of the alliance at ease."

"_Their_ distrust?" she said in disbelief. Her voice got shallower and harsher. "I was the one who stayed with the original plan. I didn't take a deal, Lexa. It should be _my_ distrust they are worried about."

Lexa's eyes lowered slightly as she leaned in toward Clarke intently. The air was palpable between them, and neither dared to breathe until words were spoken.

"It _is _your distrust that puts them ill at ease," she said with her teeth bearing ever so slightly. She straightened up and moved her face farther away from the blonde sky girl's. "If this is going to work, you must trust me, Clarke."

"I did," she said then after a moment's hesitation she sighed in resignation. "I will." Her voice softened. "I need time."

"I have given you time."

"I need more time."

"The rest of the work crew arrives in less than two weeks. That is when we leave for Polis," Lexa stated.

"Then I guess you will have to find a way to make things up to me before that time comes," Clarke said. The commander swore she saw the corner of the Sky Princess's lips twitch, and her heart pounded just a slight bit harder in her chest.

"Tomorrow. You will come with me on a hunting trip," Lexa said.

"Okay, I w-" She was interrupted by the wails of a small child and the Commander's guards speaking in Trigedasleng. There was no hesitation for Clarke. She immediately knew the cause of such a cry.

"Sam," she called quickly as she rushed to pass Lexa, but the grounder was even faster. Lexa came out to find a young child in the grasp of one of her guards. Tears were streaming down his face. He struggled to get to Clarke as she emerged from her quarters.

"Clarke!" he cried as he tried to rid himself of the warrior's arms. Clarke was already making her way toward the boy.

"Heda," the guard holding the squirming child said.

"Daun ste pleni! Gon we!" she ordered to the two guards. [That is enough! Leave!] The child was immediately freed, and he went running into Clarke's outstretched arms. She picked up the child without hesitation and cradled him against her chest.

"Shh," she whispered. "It's okay. They weren't going to hurt you. They were just making sure no one interrupted me." Sam sobbed softly and whispered "Clar" as he clung to her shirt. She looked at Lexa who was looking down at the child with a look that Clarke couldn't decipher.

"Let's get you to Unca Bell," she whispered softly, but the boy shook his head.

"No stay, Clar," he whimpered.

"Okay, okay, I'm here," she whispered back. She started to sing to him softly as she bounced up and down while walking the child back into her bunk. Lexa followed her in and as the boy's soft sobs turned into the gentle hum of sleepy breaths, Clarke placed him down on her cot then moved toward the Commander with a fierceness neither of them had seen before. She pinned her back against the table in her quarters and seethed with anger.

"Clarke, I-"

"If your guards so much as touch a hair on that boy's head again, I will make _sure _their fight is over," she said.

"I will make sure of it myself," Lexa said simply. Clarke's eyes studied the Commander's own, but she saw no wavering or hesitancy in her words. Noticing their position, she glanced away and stepped back.

"Good. I will see you tomorrow for the hunting trip," she stated casually. "I look forward to it.

"As do I."

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_a/n: All the follows and favorites make me so, so happy. I just want to hug you all! I hope you continue to enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it. Things will slow down in a week. Purely because my love is coming to visit me, and we will be together for half a month or so. I will not be writing during that time, so I might write a bunch ahead of time and post them during that time. That way you aren't totally abandoned! Either way, a lot can happen in a week! Who knows where I will be in the story at that point! - E_


	8. Shof op (Quiet)

**Shof Op (Quiet)**

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_So, let me first assuage some fears I saw in some reviews of chapters 6 and 7. This is not and will never be a Bellarke fic. I do not ship Bellarke although I see how other people do. I really only ship Clexa and Octavia x Lincoln (do they even have a ship name?) All my future 100 fics will be Clexa, so there is really nothing to worry about. I am obsessed with this pairing to an excessive extent. Don't worry. I only read Clexa fics. On the other hand, if you are looking for a quick burn Clexa or some quick Clexa smut this story is not for you. I plan to have this story be a realistic as possible. That means Clarke will not be leaping into Lexa's arms. Will Clarke and Lexa end up together? Yes. Will it take a while? Yes. Why? Because that's realistic. The whole Bellamy and Clarke deal is a set up for a future plot point that I wasn't originally planning on, but I later decided on adding. This is still Clexa. This will always be Clexa. I don't even know how I'd write Bellarke as that is over my head since I do not ship them. Anyways, enjoy this chapter. – E_

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As Clarke expects, when the Commander has arrived for their hunting trip, she is escorted by her own guard. However, instead of there are two as there were the day prior. This guard is the one less familiar to Clarke, but he is also the one who didn't have his arms wrapped around Sam. The guard dismounts his horse as he approaches her.

"For you, Skai Heda, we will ride together," the guard said as he bowed his head slightly and handed over the reins to her. Clarke glances up at the horse. She hasn't much experience with this at all. If she were to admit it fully, she has no experience with horses. But she is being expected to mount, so that is what she determines she will do despite her fear. Just as she is about to try and get up by herself, the guard places a hand in front of her.

"Allow me," he said simply. He waited for her acknowledgement then lifted Clarke atop the horse. She was placed toward the back to allow him room to mount as well. He took the reins from her hands then mounted the horse himself.

"You may hold on," he said in a quieter voice. That is when the Commander approached on horseback. Her small hunting team flanked her sides.

"We will be traveling to the south," she stated. Her eyes glanced over to Clarke. They had not spoken any words since they arrived. Only firm eye contact and head nods had been made, but these English spoken words were clearly meant for her and her only.

"Oso gon we gon ouder," she addressed one of her people. [_Let's leave for there._]

"Sha, Heda," he said with a bow of his head before turning his horse around and making his way toward the south. [_Yes, Commander._] The guard riding with Clarke pulled up their horse next to Lexa's. Her own guard was a bit away staying toward the back to protect his Commander.

"Are you excited, Clarke?" Lexa questioned. Her head stayed forward while she asked. There was very little show of emotion and the sky girl wasn't sure what to make of it intially.

"Nervous, if I am honest," she said.

"There is nothing to be nervous about. You will be safe."

"It's not my safety I'm nervous about," she clarified.

"Then what?"

"My hunting ability," she said softer. It was a mere statement. She was sure Lexa knew that Clarke was not some great hunter when she forwarded the invitation. Although, it was less of an invitation and more of statement that she would go hunting with them.

"It is okay, Clarke. We are aware. Why do you think we are heading to the south?"

"Because there is more wildlife?" she offered.

"Because your people are loud." Clarke wasn't looking at Lexa, but she swore she could hear a playful smirk in the Commander's voice. "You scare all the prey away."

Clarke could not resist rolling her eyes at the last part and said, "We have managed just fine."

"Managing and thriving are far different, Clarke."

The Commander had a point, but Clarke struggled with the idea that a high-meat diet was the key to thriving. She would allowed Lexa to have this one though. It almost felt good to be able to talk with Lexa again. As their horses walked side by side, the pair spoke of plans for Polis. Clarke was to leave with her after the rest of the work crew arrived and make their journey to the capital. Guards would accompany them as well as Indra and several other members of the clan. Their first night there, they were expected to be at a dinner with several other clan leaders, but they would have down time between meeting in the following days. While this was a business trip, pleasure was allowed.

Clarke was pleased with how easily the words were flowing with Lexa, but her mind and her heart were still set on protection mode. Nothing personal was being spoken of, and that was how she wanted to keep it. This was purely about the alliance and the start of rebuilding friendly interactions. Clarke knew nothing good would come for holding onto her anger for Lexa, but that didn't mean it didn't still linger.

The hunting during the hunting trip was far from eventful for Clarke. Lexa and her men did most of the actual hunting. She could hear them speak in grounder to their Commander as they moved through the forest and was fairly sure many of them were objecting to her presence. At one point, she was pretty sure the commander threatened to slit one of the hunter's throats if he didn't quiet up. It was just a guess, but a knife against the throat was pretty good evidence. When they made their way back to Camp Jaha, Clarke took the chance to speak to the guard she rode with.

"They were talking about me," she stated.

"Do not worry about them Skai Prises," he assured.

"What were they saying?" she asked.

"They did not think you should be with us because you are too noisy."

"The Commander didn't seem too happy with them either," she said almost trying to defend the heavy foot falls she made while hunting.

"She was not. She said their constant talking was far worse, and she should just silence them herself."

Clarke nodded and held onto the guard's armor. She was about to ask another question when Lexa pulled her horse back and circled around to come up beside Clarke. She looked as though she wanted to ask something, but the words fell silent on her tongue.

"I enjoyed myself," Clarke said while filling in the blanks.

"Next time I will be sure to bring others instead of them," she said with a glance toward her people in front of them.

"It's okay," she said, "They just aren't used to hunting with someone lacking their skill."

"Everyone starts somewhere, Clarke," a small smile graced her closed lips. "You are just far behind."

The blonde pressed her lips together to try and keep a smile from forming. She glanced down and said, "I'll have to just catch up then."

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_a/n: Thank you so much for all the encouraging words and comments regarding the storyline. I have huge plans for this story and everything is very carefully planned out (at least that is my hope). Here we have seen Clarke and Lexa's relationship building back up to a sort of "level 1" friendship. Where they are friendly, but they are not feeding personal feelings to one another, instead they are simply enjoying one's company and letting it be. At the bottom I'll be writing some individualized responses to reviews just so that you understand better as a reader where I (as the writer) am coming from. Also, I plan on writing some Clexa songfics in the near future. I understand songfics aren't everyone's thing, but I suggest you give mine a try. There will be a songfic series related to __Den, ai hod yu in__ (it will take place in the same universe with direct references) as well as a series of __In This Moment__ smutty Clexa songfics. If you have song suggestions, I will consider any of them._

_Reviews:_

_laulue &amp; kawagirl1993: I look forward to your two reviews so much. Thanks for sticking with me and the lovely reviews! laulue, I hope you enjoyed the hunting trip even though I do not feel, myself, much happened. More will happen in the next chapter. I promise. kawagirl1993, their connection is very important, and I'm glad you see it! Lots of talking (and struggle) will be involved before a romantic relationship will be formed. But hopefully the story is still enjoyable to you!_

_The smell of blood and sand: So glad you think Sam is adorable! I am rather fond of him!_

_resinswhy: Okay, your review made me laugh hysterically right before I was about to go to bed. You're right. It's not a tea party! Get it together Clarke!_

_stingslikeabee: Me too, me too!_


	9. Osir (Us All)

**Osir (Us All)**

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_a/n: Chapter 9 to celebrate over 100 follows and the finale! Also. Wow. That finale was something. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched, but I was yelling at my TV and shielding my eyes at points. It was great. I couldn't wait to get back to this fic though. I hope all those who have watched the finale will stick with my fic! Haha. - E_

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After the hunting trip, Clarke noticed that Lexa would find excuses to come to Camp Jaha. At first they were fairly well thought of excuses. She would ask for Clarke's presence to go over plans for their trip. It would take a three nights on horseback. Once she came over to just make sure that Clarke was positive she was coming as the length of the trip was uncertain. Clarke assured Lexa that she was still going, and she shouldn't worry. Of course, the Commander vehemently denied any worry and stated she simply wanted to get all arrangements straight. But as time went on, her reasons became less about informing her about rations for the trip and more simply stating she was "checking up" on her ally's "well-being". Any sort of checking in by the Commander was less than necessary, but Clarke couldn't deny that she enjoyed it.

On one particular day a week prior to their trip, Lexa had found an excuse to see Clarke and found her in her quarters lacing up her boots while situated on her cot. The brunette entered quietly then said the blonde's name to get her attention and avoid any possible scare.

"Lexa?" Clarke said. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I was just coming to c-"

"It's okay, you don't need an excuse to see me."

"I have hardly been making excuses," the Commander stated.

"Okay, well, I have plans," she said, "with Bellamy."

The Commander nodded her head just the slightest. Any presence of emotion that had been on her face was quick to fade. She turned to make her leave, but Clarke reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Wait, Lexa, I can ask if you can hang out with us. I'm sure he won't mind," she said with an attempt at a smile.

"I do not think that would be the best idea," she said.

"I'm sure Bellamy can hold his tongue."

"Hold his tongue?" the Commander questioned.

"It's an expression. It'll be fine," she said. "He's coming here in a little bit with-"

At that moment, a small boy came careening into Clarke's bunk and leapt into her arms. She caught him at what seemed like the last moment, and she pulled him into her lap. He giggled as she began to tickle him.

"Hey, Bell," she said as he walked in afterwards. Sam squirmed from Clarke's lap then ran back to Bellamy and hid behind his leg as he peered up at Lexa. Bellamy froze once he entered and glanced between Lexa and Clarke.

"What's she doing here?" he asked.

"I was just leaving," the Commander stated with a glance toward the small child.

"Lexa, stay with Bellamy and me and hang out?" she said with a hopeful glance.

"I do not have other plans," she said. Her eyes flickered toward Bellamy who made no objections. His focus was on the boy who he was sitting down with next to Clarke. Sam climbed into the blonde's lap. Lexa sat opposite them in the only chair in the room.

"When do you leave again?" Bellamy asked Clarke.

"In a week. Right, Lexa?" She looked over at the armored woman.

"Do we need to meet again to go over plans?" she asked seriously.

"No. I just didn't want to give him the wrong time," Clarke said.

"Oh yes. A week," Lexa said. Her body was ridged, and she watched as the pair talked. Sam was snuggled into Clarke's chest and kept glancing over at the Commander. She lifted her hand slightly off the chair and waved at the young boy while Clarke and Bellamy were engaged in some talk about the food served last night. Sam hesitated then waved back. The gesture made Lexa smile, and the boy smiled right back. He pushed off of Clarke glanced at him as he walked over toward Lexa. He stopped a bit away from her and gazed up at her.

"That's Lexa," the blonde told Sam with a smile as she watched him. Bellamy was far less amused and simply kept his mouth in a firm line.

"Lessa," Sam repeated.

"No," the Commander said, "Lex-uh"

"Les-uh," the little boy stated again. He smiled up at her, and Lexa just smiled back at him and nodded. He pointed at himself and looked straight up at the Commander.

"Am" he said. A smile softened her face and she repeated his name.

"Sam."

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_a/n: I may be crazy or I may just be crazy, but I have the next 16 chapters outlined in detail already. That's chapters 10 through 25 and there is still much more for me to outline. I figure I should at least write to chapter 15 before I outline more though to keep my brain from overloading. I'm particularly excited for what should be in chapters 15, 21, 23, and 25. As you can see the chapters I am excited for are much later. Partially because the pace picks up, and you can expect some more Clexa tidbits. Not that there won't be any in earlier chapters, just those ones should have some particularly thrilling ones. Anyways, I am super glad everyone is loving the story. I'm also glad I could help ease some Bellarke fears. Which, honestly, you really have __**nothing**__ to worry about. If only you guys could see what I have planned for this fic. My outline would probably drive you hungry for the next chapters. My love will be here in a week (yay!), and I am still popping out updates left and right. You may end up going without some for a bit, so be warned. I'll return though! I just haven't seen her, well, ever. It's our first meeting. Wish me luck! - E_


	10. Oso (Us All)

**Oso (Us All)**

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_a/n: Here is a quick chapter for you guys. I have been really sick. I'll say more at the bottom. Enjoy. ^.^ - E_

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"What are you drawing?" Lexa asked Clarke curiously. The mere fact that she felt comfortable asking a question showed how bold and confident in their friendship she was feeling. Tomorrow they were leaving for the Capital, so she knew this was good. The four day trip would not be awkward hopefully with such a budding friendship. They had been spending more time together. All of them. Bellamy, Sam, Clarke, Lexa, Lincoln and even Octavia had been able to all be in the same room without so much as ripping one another's throat out. And it seemed like that was difficult for Octavia at times, but Sam seemed to soften her. Being "Aun'tavia" was good for her. Just like being "Unca Bell" was good for Bellamy. The little boy seemed to raise the spirits of everyone around him.

"Yeah, Clarke," Bellamy piped in. It was just the three of them hanging out today. "You haven't taken your nose out your sketchbook since you picked it up.

The blonde focused on pencil against paper for another moment longer before responding that she just needed a few more moments. The eraser wiggled in the air, and Clarke bit her lip while focusing. Lexa's eyes flickered down to the Sky Princess' lips then back up to her eyes where she kept them until the pencil was placed back on the table. Her lips parted slightly to say something, but Clarke spoke before Lexa had a chance.

"Done," she said.

"Well do we get to see?" Bellamy asked. Clarke nodded and slowly turned the sketchbook around to show them. It was a sketch of Lexa and him seemingly having an enjoyable time. They were in Clarke's quarters sitting in chairs. The Commander's lips were just slightly upturned, and her eyes seemed to smile while Bellamy's face had a full smile plastered on.

"It's you two actually pretending to like each other," Clarke said with a grin.

"What? We do you like each other, right Commander?" he said.

"Of course. I have no ill feelings toward Bellamy," Lexa explained

"Wow, you couldn't have been a little more subtle there?" he said jokingly.

"I didn't-"

"I know, I'm just messing," he said. Lexa nodded ever so slightly. She wasn't used to being joked around with in such a way still. Partially because she did not _allow _herself to and partially because no one ever seemed to know _how _to joke around with her. She looked back at the drawing then Clarke.

"It is beautiful," she complimented.

"Thanks," Clarke said. She placed the notebook down. "Well, we're leaving for Polis tomorrow. It's going to be a long trip."

"You sound hesitant to go," Bellamy said.

"Not hesitant," the blonde clarified. "Just nervous I suppose."

"Why would you be nervous?" Lexa asked.

"I've never met the other leaders," she admitted.

"The leaders are not who you have to worry about in the end," the Commander commented. "They will always do what is best for their people regardless of opinions. It is their strong willed people who wish not to follow their word."

"Not helping," Bellamy said in a lower voice.

"She needs the truth."

Clarke knew Lexa was right. She would rather have the truth than some lie to comfort her, but that doesn't mean the truth doesn't make her uncomfortable. She looked directly at Lexa and said, "I always want the truth."

The Commander subtly nodded her head. Those five simple words spoke volumes. She looked back at Bellamy then said, "I must return to Ton DC. I have some arrangements to make before we leave tomorrow. The work crews should be arriving soon." She stood up and started to make her leave.

"Oh, okay. Bye, Lexa," Clarke said with a glance at the boy across from her.

"Bye," Bellamy said.

Lexa nodded and managed a small smile at the pair then walked out of the tent. In reality, she didn't have much to attend to. She just figured the pair would want their privacy before Clarke left tomorrow. Their connection ran deep. Deeper than hers with Clarke at the moment and she knew the blonde would never ask her to leave. So she would do it herself. There was an empty feeling the moment she left their company. But still, the walk back to Ton DC didn't feel as lonely as it used to.

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_a/n: My updates might be a bit sporadic. Plans changed because I am very sick and so is my love, so she is not coming to see me. I am devastated. However, writing is therapeutic, so I may be writing more than normal. But school will be hard for me, so I need to try and focus on that. On the bright side for you guys, I have no plans for spring break anymore, so I'll probably spend most of my time writing… I have some other works up that I'd love for you to check up including the start of a Highschool AU. All the love I have been receiving is amazing. - E_

_Reviews:_

_The smell of blood and sand: Lexa and Sam give me life. We will see more of their interactions in the far future._

_wolfie2451: This made me smile a lot! I'm glad it's your favorite! Wow. Thanks so much. And yes, their friendship is great. Although we may see a "strain" in that…. Huehuehue._

_TheSnarff: Glad you are enjoying! I hope you continue to enjoy!_

_Miri-san: I hope even though it was short you enjoyed this chapter!_

_laurie (guest): I enjoy their friendship a lot. And I'm glad you saw how Lexa felt out of place, but Sam sort of helped ease that. There will be many more than 16 chapters coming, but I just don't want to plan toooo far ahead. Haha._


	11. Leidon (Goodbye)

**Leidon (Goodbye)**

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The sun peaked into the room and over Clarke's face. Her eyes slowly blinked open to squint into the ray of light. With a groan, she rolled over to try and go back to sleep. Then she remembered that today was the day. Lexa and she were going to leave for Polis. That meant she had to get her butt out of bed and attend to the final business she had. As well as leave time for saying her goodbyes. She stretched and let out a long yawn then stood up and changed into her daytime clothes. She had gotten in the habit of sleeping with clothing on under the warm blankets.

Once she was changed, she made her way to get some breakfast. She wasn't particularly hungry, but some berries sounded really nice this morning. So she went a grabbed a handful of them before making her way toward the sick bay. Clarke's first stop was going to be to talk to her mother. Abby wasn't too fond of her decision to leave alone with the Commander, but that wasn't her place. Or Kane's. Or anyone else's for that matter. Although Kane was more convinced it was a good idea to make nice with the other clan leaders. He just wasn't sure if and when Lexa would cross the line to betrayal again. And Clarke was aware of this, she knew to keep one eye open for warning signs, but there was a fear that there would be no warning signs like last time. Even thinking of the betrayal now, after spending time with Lexa as a friend, stung more than Clarke cared to admit.

By the time she entered the sick bay and saw her mother, the berries were gone, and she had a quiet mind. Her mother was simply caring for a few citizens who had been injured on a hunting trip, and everything had been rather calm.

"Clarke," Abby said as she spotted her daughter.

"So," she said, "Today's the day."

"How do you feel?" she asked with motherly concern.

"Nervous," she said then concluded, "Excited."

"Excited?" the doctor quirked an eyebrow.

"Well, I just don't know what to expect, but Lexa mentioned something about Polis. And I guess it piqued my curiosity," she explained.

"That's good, I just, I want you to be careful out there," Abby came over and wrapped her arms around her daughter.

"Mom, I'll be fine," she said, but she sunk into her mom's arms a bit. It was going to be hard being away from everyone. It was going to be hard being the only "sky person" in a grounder world, but she would do it gracefully and show no fear. She was sure of it.

"I know," she said softly and held Clarke a little tighter. The blonde girl smiled into her mother's shoulder and hugged her for a little while longer before letting her go.

"I have to go see Bellamy before I leave, we're heading out once Lexa arrives," she said.

"Is your bag packed?" Abby asked.

"Lexa made sure it was packed three days ago," Clarke said. Her mom nodded slightly then hugged her daughter again.

"I'll be sure to see you off," she said.

"I'll see you then," Clarke said before releasing her mom and going to find Bellamy.

Finding the man was a fairly easy task. He rarely rose this early, so he was still fast asleep in his bunk along with Sam. Careful not to wake the young boy, she woke Bellamy.

"Hey," he mumbled. "What time is it?"

"I'll be leave in a couple hours at the latest," she whispered back. "Just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Mm. Okay," he murmured then closed his eyes

Clarke shook her head slightly then exited his bunk and made her way back to her quarters. She made sure she had everything, and she gently added the final items to her bag like her sketchbook. Laying out on her bed, she stared up at the ceiling and tried to pass the time without driving herself crazy. She was much too excited for this trip than she should be, but she was also much less nervous than she thought she should be. After all, she would have to spend so much time with Lexa. Conversations were bound to come up that Clarke wasn't quite ready for, but she doubted that would stop the Commander from at least trying. Or maybe what Clarke feared the most was that things would become awkward between them. That was one of the last things she wanted, but she also didn't want to be best friends. She had to guard her heart and herself from anything. So while they could be friends, it was hard to become close friends or consider anything more. She doubted she ever would consider anything more ever again. She just didn't want the awkwardness, and she wanted to have some connection to Lexa. It would have been easier to give up the girl completely, but Clarke wasn't one who was known for doing things the easy way. She did what felt right and good. Being friends with Lexa felt like it was the right thing to do, and so far there had been no bad. Besides maybe sad memories.

Clarke was so deep in thought that she didn't hear someone knock for entry right away. When she finally noticed it, the noise startled her. She then sat up straight and called for them to come in. Lexa walked in and looked at the blonde.

"Are you fully prepared to go?" she asked. She glanced down at Clarke's bags and looked pleased for a moment.

"Completely, let's hope I didn't forget anything," the blonde said with a smile. She stood up and went to pick up her bags when Lexa placed a hand in front of her to stop her.

"The guards escorting us will take care of those," she said. "We will go out so you can say your goodbyes."

Clarke watched as Lexa left. She wasn't in "friend" mode, but "Heda" mode. Her demeanor was a lot more official. Clarke hoped that the grounder would soften a little during their trip. She followed after the Commander to the horses. The guards were gathering her belongings, and she could see her family and friends were already there to wish her farewell. She hugged her mom and her friends then exchanged well-wishes with Kane before stopping in front of Bellamy and Sam.

"Hey there, bud," she said while kneeling down to the little boy's height. "Remember how Unca Bell said I was going on a trip?" The boy nodded. "Well, I have to go soon. Can I have a hug goodbye?"

Sam hugged her tightly and said, "I don't want you to go."

"Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it," Clarke said as she picked him up to hold him for a bit. She looked at Bellamy and smile then told him to keep out of trouble. They had spoken yesterday about Bellamy taking the temporary place of Clarke at camp and looking out for things.

She placed Sam down then gave the man in front of her a quick hug and whispered goodbye. He held onto her for a moment then told her to be safe.

"I will," she said with a smile and walked toward Lexa and their horses.

"You can ride with whoever you wish," she said to Clarke who ended up choosing the same guard she rode with during the hunting trip. He helped her up then Clarke looked at her friends. She waved then the horses led out.

"Bye," she said over her shoulder.

"Bye, " the group said back.

The blonde looked over at Lexa who was as straight faced as could be then she said softly, "You will return safe, Clarke."

The sky girl felt her heart simmer just a little bit, and she nodded in acknowledgement of the words before looking over her shoulder one last time at Camp Jaha.

* * *

_a/n: I have been really sick this past week. It's a miracle I got this chapter done. Part of me is dreading the next one because it's supposed to be a long one. I don't like starting a chapter then stopping part way through because the flow ends up off sometimes. I may just split that chapter. If anyone wants to tell the health fairies to make me not sick, that would be great. Or you know, some nice reviews of any of my fics would also be great. :)_

_Reviews:  
__laulue – I'm still sick as you can see. :c I will probably be sick for a really long time if it's what they think it is.  
__Wolfie2451 – Thank you! I hope I get to see her as well._


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